Dear People Who Keep Company With God,
As much as I was impacted by the beauty and weakness of the persecuted church, there was something even greater that happened to me while I was with them.
Thirty years ago through various circumstances, I came to know that my relationship with the Lord was not what I supposed it was. I had built a spiritual house, but it was not according to God’s heart of devotion and love. It was just a house built by a man. I gave God permission to destroy that house so the right one could be built. I was completely broken and empty. I didn’t really know God on a personal level. I told the Lord something like this, “I am going to spend the rest of my life getting to know you and loving you as the most important thing to me.” It was a real turning point for me.
When I first laid eyes on the persecuted church in an instant I saw the Lord Jesus Christ looking back at me. It was not the eyes of man or of the beautiful persecuted church. It was Him. Although I recognized Him, at that moment I realized how little I know Him and how little I have made Him in my own mind.
When I saw His eyes looking back at me, it totally emptied me. I knew for the first time what Jesus meant when He said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” Matt. 5:3. When I saw Him everything that was in me spiritually paled in comparison to Him; all the revelations, visions, encounters, insights, knowledge and wisdom of my entire Christian life seemed to empty out of me. It was as if I had nothing spiritual in me that did Him justice. This all happened in a flash, but it seemed as if time stood still. I really did not comprehend what was happening in that moment. All I knew was that suddenly I went from being on a mission to minister to the persecuted church to being completely empty.
A few years ago I read Dr. Guy Chevreau’s account of when he first saw the most impoverished church in the world and for reasons I now understand, it really stuck with me. “On arriving in East Bank, Malawi, I looked around at those who had gathered at the conference we were hosting. Many had walked for days to be there; most had not eaten anything but grass and leaves for months. Their clothes were in tatters. I knew I had to preach in less than an hour. As I thought of the sermon notes I had prepared, I blinked back my tears and could not help but say out loud, “This is the crucible of irrelevance.”
I believe we are most blessed when we come to these rare moments in our lives when our eyes are opened in a way that strips us down to nothing. In fact the only place that I know Jesus repeated Himself in the gospels was when He said, “Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matt. 19:24. That phrase “Again I say to you”does not appear anywhere else in the original Greek except Mark’s account of the same incident. I think Jesus wanted us to know something of supreme value and importance. Being impoverished spiritually is the true door to possessing the kingdom of heaven.
Thirty years ago God used trying circumstances to empty me and that was the beginning of a turning point that totally changed and shaped my entire life. This time it only took one moment where time stood still and I looked into the eyes of eternity and love. God loves to fill empty vessels. I hope I never get over this.
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.” Matthew 5:3 (The Message Bible)
Many Blessings, BW