Dear People Who Keep Company with God,
One of the things I have had to deal with recently is a big dose of feeling inadequate. I look at the vision for the Father’s House the Lord gave me and it is impossible in human terms so I keep asking the Lord, “Are you sure you picked the right guy to do this?” I believe this is called a crisis of belief. When the Lord first spoke to me about the Father’s House I basically told Him, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). That was easy, but now that I am facing the reality of actually doing it I find myself wondering what I got myself into.
But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11 I was discussing my feelings with a pastor friend and he gave me some great advice; “Byron that is a great attitude to have, just do not go too far with it.” Each of us has a blemished perception of who we are and if the Lord is going to be able to really use us in this world that must be dealt with.
The Lord reminded of a dream about a slingshot I heard years ago: A slingshot was in God’s hand with only the V part exposed, the rest was hidden in God’s hand. God put a rock in the slingshot, pulled it back and shot it with amazing speed and accuracy right into the center of the target. A man’s hand appeared and squeezed the V part together until it was only a couple of inches apart. God then could only shoot peas from it with no speed or accuracy, they would travel a few feet and fall to the ground not even reaching the target. The man’s hand appeared again and squeezed it to where the V appeared as an I. God could not even use it.
This is the interpretation of the dream: The V stands for vision, our life and identity must be securely held in the hand of the Father, and then with His vision for our life He can powerfully use us. When we squeeze His vision down to a size which is more comfortable for us then God will not be able to use us very much. The smallest vision a man can have is when He is totally focused on himself- the big I. God can not use us when our vision is focused on ourselves.
Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” 14 God said to Moses , ” I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘ I AM has sent me to you.'” Exodus 3:13-14
It is easy to look at someone who is operating in a greater calling and anointing than you are and your first response be something like,” they must be special” or “I could never do that”. This type of response is based on a wrong self perception. Through this whole crisis of belief I have begun to see the perception I have of myself is directly related to my perception of who Jesus Christ is. If I see myself as inadequate, then my revelation of who the Lord is must be inadequate.
But Pharaoh said, “Who is the LORD that I should obey His voice to let Israel go? I do not know the LORD, and besides, I will not let Israel go.” Exodus 5:2
Jesus asked His disciples a very important question, “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15). It was only after Peter received revelation from the Father concerning the true identity of the Lord Jesus that Peter received a new name and thus a new identity, God’s vision for his life and the equipment, the keys to the kingdom of heaven required to fulfill the vision (see Matthew 16:15-19).
We will never be able to be or do all that God has planned for us until we receive revelation from the Father of who the Lord Jesus Christ really is. I am asking the Father to give me a greater revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Many Blessings, BW