Dear People Who Keep Company With God,
“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name,” says the old hymn yet so many believers seem to be losing hope. Have we built our hope on the wrong thing or person?
When we find ourselves negative, spiritually lethargic, depressed, discouraged, cynical and even angry it may be that we have ceased to rest on His unchanging grace. In those times just remember as the hymn goes on to say, “His oath, His covenant, His blood supports me in the whelming flood. When all around me my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.”
What about those around us who seem to be drowning in the whelming flood? How do we help them find His unchanging grace? What do you do when you see a friend or loved one suffering, questioning God and saying potentially damaging things? Typically, we want to give them a Scripture like Romans 8:28, “God works all things for the good…”, although this is so true, but most of the time they are not in a place to be able to hear it.
Here are some helpful things I have learned and I use some of it on myself when darkness seems to hide His face.
1. Love on them.
Tell them you love them, call or text to check up on them often. Hang out with them. Just let them know they are not forgotten and you are there for them. People need to see the love and truth of Christ demonstrated by others.
2. Don’t do this.
I found this out the hard way. Don’t try to overcome someone’s negative thinking with your own positive thinking. It doesn’t work because it tends to be confrontational and argumentative. People do not take it well when you try to convince them that they shouldn’t feel something, it only feeds what they are feeling.
3. Be understanding.
I think every emotion known to man is found in the Psalms and for good reason. We need to deal with what we feel and not simply explain or stuff it away. Seek to understand how they feel and validate those feelings. If someone’s life is in a downward spiral there are a lot of negative emotions in their hearts.
This might be hard because it may seem like you’re reinforcing their negative feelings, but you’re not. You’re not agreeing with them or justifying their negativity and you are not throwing a pity party for them. You’re simply showing them that you understand how they feel. People need to know they are being understood.
4. Find grounds of agreement.
As the prophet Amos asks, “How can two walk together unless they are in agreement?” (Amos 3:3). You don’t have to agree with everything they’ve said or done, but if you can, agree with some of what they’re feeling. If you share some of their feelings, let them know which. This gives you common ground and from there you have a better opportunity to reach their heart.
5. Find out what they are hopeful about and reinforce it.
This doesn’t mean trying to convince them to be positive. It means helping them see what God is doing or has done in their lives. This is real hope because it is based on something God is doing or has done, rather than trying to promote hopeful thoughts you think they should have.
6. Pray this over them.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT
Many Blessings, BW