Dear People Who Keep Company With God,
At the core of Christianity is relationship, first with the Lord, “Eternal life is to know you, the only true God and Jesus Christ Your Son” (John 17:3). It speaks volumes that the first message to the churches in Revelation concerned relationship with Christ (Rev. 2:4).
Then we have relationship with one another, and the Bible has much to say concerning our earthly relationships. This has something to do with the fact that we all struggle so much in this area. This world has been plagued with relational dysfunction and tragedy from the day Cain killed his brother, Abel.
I’ve learned the hard way about relationships. I have been involved in some dysfunctional relationships that set me back spiritually, emotionally and at times financially. Understanding relational dynamics, living by the golden rule and having proper boundaries are vital to healthy and fruitful relationships. But I found there is something even more fundamental to relationships.
One of the greatest secrets to having healthy relationship with others is having a healthy relationship with your self! There is a saying, “Hurt people hurt people.” It is true. If you are unhealthy in your self-perception and if you do not love yourself properly then you will never perceive others right nor be able to love them properly. Think about it like this, Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
I believe one of the issues that plagued Cain was a sense of insignificance. When he brought his offering before the Lord that day and it was not received it set off a chain of events that led to him murdering his brother. In reality, it was a door for him to get free, but he refused to go through the door.
I too spent a lot of time thinking I did not really matter. I would hear of a friend’s success or an important happening in which I was not involved and it just drove home the fact that I did not matter. I think the fear of being so insignificant that we will be forgotten or that we are nothing plagues all of us at times. And that is at the root of much relational dysfunction and tragedy in the world and the church.
As a consequence of feeling insignificant I measured myself by what I perceived other people thought of me. That was slowly killing me. We all have the God given need to be fully known and fully loved, but the Lord Himself must first answer that and He has, in Christ (John 14:9-11).
It was when I began to truly know God as my Father that I was able to overcome the fear of being insignificant and forgotten. The more I know the Father, the more I know and love my true self. God has destined us all for the same baptism of identity and love that Jesus experienced (Mark 1:9-11). There are no insignificant people in His family and we all are worth knowing, being celebrated and loved.
Many Blessings, BW