Dear People Who Keep Company With God,
We live in a time where words such as authenticity, genuineness, legitimacy, reality and so on have become a normal part of our vocabulary. I love that as this speaks of walking in truth (2 John 4). The revelation of the Father’s heart will always lead us to knowing our true selves. The more we know God as our loving Father the more we will know our true identity.
As vital and important as personal identity is, there is something more to living an authentic life. Not only do you have to own your true identity, you have to own your faith.
When I was a young believer we were part of a move of God and a church that was amazing. It was organic, lively and outside of the box of normal church. The people were passionate about their faith and devotion to the Lord. It set the course for my life in Christ. I am so thankful for it, but in those early days that world was not really mine. I sincerely desired for it to be mine, but the reality was that it wasn’t.
When I became a part of that church I knew very little about God, the kingdom, and church life. I was a very raw worldly person so I depended heavily on other mature believers and the leaders to interpret for me what was of God and not. That is normal and part of God’s plan for all of us, but it is not His long-term plan. It is one thing to spoon-feed a 1 year old, but something is wrong if we are spoon-feeding a 5 year old.
One day, God in His sovereignty took me away from that church and all my friends for a short season. I found out some things about myself. I found out I did not really know the Lord as I thought I did. I knew Him through my friends and the leaders much more than I knew Him personally. That crushed my heart and I determined that for the rest of my life my highest goal would be to know Him on a personal level. All these years later that is still my highest goal.
Recently, I read something that Hildegard of Bingen, a believer from the 11th century, wrote that described what I went through in those early days. She wrote, “We cannot live in a world that is not our own, in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a home. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening, to use our own voice, to see our own light.”
She used the word “terror” – it is frightening at first to trust that God desires to speak to you face to face and not just through others. Let me make the point – God will always use other people, friends, pastors, Bible teachers, etc., to speak to even the most mature saint. One does not eliminate the other, but if all we have is what others tell us then we are stuck in perpetual spiritual immaturity.
Once I settled into trusting the Holy Spirit’s personal guidance I faced something even more frightening – using my voice to speak what He was telling me. That took me a long time. I still remember the first time I spoke in a small group about something God was telling me. My heart about busted out of my chest. It was crazy, but it got crazier. Not long afterward the Lord spoke to me about teaching & preaching. That seemed as far as the east was from the west to me, but He told me if I would open my mouth He would fill it with His words and He has.
The last thing Hildegard said was “seeing our own light.” That has to do with revelation. I can’t tell you how much that has changed my life. Revelation is a cornerstone of my life. Paul said, “I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord” (2 Cor. 12:1). Me too. Isn’t it wonderful that God has invited us into His world?! He wants His world to become our world.
Many Blessings, BW